My Average Uncle

　　艾默大叔——一个普普通通的人

　　Robert P. Tristram Coffin

　　罗伯特·P.T.科芬

　　He stood out splendidly above all my uncles because he did not stand out at all. That was hisdistinction. He was the averagest man I ever knew.

　　在我众多的叔叔大爷中，他是最突出的一个，原因就在于他从不突出自己。这就是他与众不同之处。他是我见过的最普通的人。

　　You would never pick him out in a crowd. He became just another man the minute he was inone. So many more pounds of man. Good solid pounds,but just pounds. You would neverremember his hair or his chin, or the shape of his ears. If he said something, you would agreewith it, and, an hour later, you would be sure you had said it yourself.

　　他在人群里一点也不显眼。他一混人人海就和周围的人没什么两样了，他长得敦敦实实，体重超过常人许多磅，但也仅此而已。你永远也想不起他头发是什么颜色，他的下巴、耳朵是什么样子。如果他说些什么，你会表示同意，过一个小时，你会觉得这话就是你自己说的。

　　Sometimes I think men like that get along about the best . They are the easiest on theirhouses, their wives, and their children. They are easiest on the world. They slide along withouthaving to do anything about it as small boys do on their breeches after they have slid on themenough to wear them down smooth. The world is all so much pine needles under them.

　　有时我想，正是这种人才活得轻松自在。他们对住房、对妻子、对儿女总是那么宽宏大量，从不挑剔。他们是世界上最宽容的人。他们总是那么顺其自然地活着，从不为任何事情操心，就像小孩子坐滑梯把裤裆磨破了也不在乎。这个世界就像铺在身子底下的松针一样，柔软舒适。

　　Uncle Amos was easy on his wives and children. He had three of them, in all. Wives, I mean. Inever did get the count of his children straight, there were too many assortments of them. Three wives. It seemed surprising to me at the time. With all the trouble I had, myself, havingto stand on my head and work my legs, or bung stones at cherrybirds, to keep the attention ofjust one girl for a month. I often wondered how Uncle Amos, who never stood on his head orwhittled out even a butterpat, could attract so many women as he did. Wlth hair a little thin onhis head, and legs that could not possibly do more than three and a half miles an hour on theroad, there he was with three families behind him. Of course, he had the families spaced. Thewives of Uncle Amos did not come all at once. They were drawn out . One batch of children grewpretty well up by the time the next batch hove insight, waddling and falling on thek faces-tosave their hands-as waddling children do.

　　艾默大叔对妻子儿女和和气气。他总共有三个。我是说他有三个妻子。我从来数不准他到底有多少孩子，他们太多了。而且各种各样。居然有三个妻子。那时我觉得这太不可思议了。因为我在这方面吃过不少苦头。我曾经使出全身本领：拿大顶、兔子蹦、投石打鸟，好不容易才使一个女孩注意我一个月。我真不明白，艾默大叔从不拿大顶，甚至连一个黄油球也削不出来，居然能吸引那么多女人。他头发有点稀疏，两条腿一小时走不了十里半路，就这样一个人，一生居然有过三拨家小。当然啦，艾默大叔三房妻子之间都隔着一段时间，不是同时娶来的，而是一个接着一个。一拨孩子已经长大，另一拨才呱呱落地。他们蹒跚地走路，常常脸朝下跌倒在地，也不知用手去撑——小孩子学走路都是这样。

　　I knew my Bible, especially the marital parts, in which I took deep interest. I had read the Biblethrough many times under the eye of one particular aunt. I knew a lot about matrimony fromthat. But Uncle Amos had me puzzled. He had broken no commandments. All his marriageswere open and aboveboard. He wasn't like the patriarchs who didn't always wait for one wifeto go before another came. Yet Uncle Amos's status and his children's status were rathercomplicated.

　　我对圣经很熟，对有关婚娶的章节尤感兴趣。在一位爱挑剔的姑妈监督之下曾多次诵读圣经，从中学到许多有关婚姻的清规戒律。但艾默大叔却令我困惑。他没有触犯任何一条戒规，每次结婚都是公开的，光明正大的，不像那些道貌岸然的人，妻子还好好的，就又勾搭上了别的女人。然而艾默大叔的情况和他的孩子们的情况却颇为复杂。