That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work

爱情需要用心经营

　　When people fall in love and decide to marry, the expectation is nearly always that love and marriage and the happiness they bring will last; as the vows say, till death do us part. Only the most cynical among us would think, walking down the aisle, that if things don't work out, "We can always split."

　　在人们坠入爱河、决定结婚的时候，他们总是希望自己的爱情、婚姻和幸福能够天长地久;像结婚誓言说的那样，直到死亡将我们分离。在新人携手步入婚姻殿堂时，只有最愤世嫉俗的人才会想到，生活中难免事与愿违，“我们总会分道扬镳”。

　　But the divorce rate in the United States is half the marriage rate, and that does not bode well for this cherished institution.

　　然而，美国人的离婚率是结婚率的一半，对于人们珍视的婚姻制度来说，这并不是个好兆头。

　　While some divorces are clearly justified by physical or emotional abuse, intolerable infidelity, addictive behavior or irreconcilable incompatibility, experts say many severed marriages seem to have just withered and died from a lack of effort to keep the embers of love alive.

　　尽管有些人离婚有非常正当的理由，比如身体和精神上的虐待，难以忍受的婚外情，成瘾行为或者不可调和的矛盾，但是专家表示，许多破裂的婚姻似乎只是源于感情的减弱和消亡，因为夫妻双方没有努力保留爱情火焰的余烬。

　　I say "embers" because the flame of love - the feelings that prompt people to forget all their troubles and fly down the street with wings on their feet - does not last very long, and cannot if lovers are ever to get anything done. The passion ignited by a new love inevitably cools and must mature into the caring, compassion and companionship that can sustain a long-lasting relationship.

　　我用“余烬”这个词，是因为爱情的火焰——这种感情促使人们忘记所有的烦恼，如同脚生双翼，在大街上飞奔——并不会持续很久，即使情侣们竭尽全力也不会长久。新恋情点燃的热情不免会冷却，必须逐渐转化成对彼此的关心、同情和友谊，双方才能维持长久的关系。

　　Studies by Richard E. Lucas and colleagues at Michigan State University have shown that the happiness boost that occurs with marriage lasts only about two years, after which people revert to their former levels of happiness - or unhappiness.

　　理查德·卢卡斯(Richard E. Lucas)和他在密歇根州立大学(Michigan State University)的同事进行的研究表明，通过婚姻提升的幸福感只能持续大约两年的时间，此后人们会恢复到原来的幸福水平——或者再次感受到不幸福。

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